Introduction
I have no idea what I’m going to write about today. That’s the problem with saving up ideas, it’s a bit like saving up beans for the apocalypse in the sense that I wouldn’t mind having the beans now. And on that note, I think I’ve just found a topic, ikea. I mean, zombies.
Stop Wishing for it, Start Preparing for it
It’s kind of funny listening to people talk about how much they want a zombie apocalypse. Have we really got that boring that they see the best way to live life is for everyone else to be brain dead zombies (or has that already happened? Eat that society, eat that in the shins…Don’t actually think that, just in case people start presuming, got I hate people who live on presumptions, tossers. As much as I quite like being alone for some thinking time and recharging, I tend to really miss people within a few days. I’d probably have to tie up a few of my favourite friends in the basement, oh and also if they were zombies as well… Although if they were zombies I doubt I’d get the full satisfaction that is their magnificent words (I would of said banter, but arse holes seem to of ruined that word by claiming it as an excuse to be a tosser. Tosser is my new favourite word by the way. It has a ring to it).
The idea of killing zombies with a spade would probably be kind of cool and you get to do what you want within the world. Well I used to think that, till I started reading The Road by Cormac Mccarthy. Wow is that a heavy book. It’s not necessarily got zombies in it and I don’t want to ruin it for anyone (even though it did ruin the idea of zombie apocalypses for me so it would deserve it). Without ruining it for anyone, it’s about a man and a boy trying to cope in a post apocalyptic society. It really does highlight the crushing reality that would be life without things we take for granted, like Soleros and Capri sun. But knowing that, I’m going to still have fun quick and tell all you lucky three people about my zombie plan!
Weapon: Edward Scissor Hands hands? And a sniper, no bullets though. I probably wouldn’t use both of them at the same time, it’d be a little bit difficult.
Place: Would have to be Costco! I’d live for about 30 years in there, enough time to grow a beard anyway.
Plan: I’d save people but I’d definitely be the guy to shoot the recently infected ones, sorry but I’m not risking it! Then if there were millions of zombies, I’d destroy myself in a contained explosion (concocted from the stacks of dynamite made available in Costco) to save people, that’s quite heroic right? Either that or if there was only 3 seats in the escape car, I’d sit on the weakest one. Not to save myself but to save my wonderful beard to which would then be found to be the cure to the zombie outbreak.
Summary
Hey Zombie! GFY! Also, I may have caused a little bit of an issue with the blog yesterday, so there could be a video with me talking about similar issues to certain people in the near future. I’m not going to apologise though, I’m way too good at guitar hero for that.
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