Monday, 1 August 2011

Day One-Why are you doing this to yourself?

The next month will be a very raw and semi-open (hehe hehe he said semi) me. I will be hitting up a range of subjects or just talking about what I’ve been getting up to. I apologise now if you find what I say offensive, content wise or grammar wise.

Why the Meta(phorical) beard?
First things first, welcome, you beautiful people you. I’ll get the obvious questions out the way first, why are you doing this? And why is it called The Meta(phorical) Beard? Well Meta meaning to explain something about something explaining something, an example of this is: Doing an essay about an essay. Then adding phorical to create metaphorical, then adding beard equals: A metaphorical beard. This is simpler, it’s because I like beards, but can’t grow one.

First Reason
The main reason why I’m doing this is because I hate it, very English I know, to do something you hate (insert wife joke here). I can’t stand the idea that people will know me more, as weird as that sounds. Fair enough if the people I adore know a huge amount about me, that’s fine, I love and trust them. But people I don’t really know? GFY. And with this I feel as if I’m losing out on an instinctual human act, the act of relation. Relation being, I relate to that, I agree with you, or I disagree with you but you’re so handsome that I forgive you and still love you for it. It’s a way of reaching out, getting my name about, creating new friendships, new relationships, new people (if you know what I mean). It’s something, an introverted socialite like myself, needs but fears at the same time. It’s a necessity in my line of work as well, no-one has ever hired an actor who never does the things he hates.

Second Reason
Second reason being, I am an opinionated person, but when given an issue to which warrants an opinion, I create one on the spot. So it’s less of an opinion and more an improvised idea. An example of this is: When I was asked, what age were you the happiest? I went with 9, why? Cause the person asking smelt like tobasco sauce and I had a very itchy foot. Looking back at it, what I remember of being 9 kind of sucked. My birthday party was at Wacky Warehouse (blut blut sir). That’s great, but on that day I went down the slide a little bit too fast and torpedoed myself down to the bottom of the ball pit. I don’t know if you’ve ever drowned in a place where you can breathe. Didn’t find it a thrilling adventure (I was going to say, have you ever drowned in a sea of balls but I thought that’d be a bit too inappropriate for my first blog, slow and steady, slow and steady). So this blog is giving me the chance to gain an actual thought-out opinion on stuff. Whether you agree with my opinions or not is fine, just don’t smell like tobasco sauce. Don’t be that guy.

Self-indulgent Sparta kick
Over the course of the month prior, I’ve relayed the idea to a few friends, there worse idea was the following: I was told by someone who will remain unnamed (in fact, everyone I may or may not talk about over the month will remain anonymous) said I should actually try doing a self indulgent facebook status as practice. The closest I got was “Would it be ok to Sparta Kick a screaming 15 year old off a trampoline”. That does reveal I just can’t do it (also it was posted through my twitter account with is @seanjosephyoung, shameless plug I know). Or, it show’s how I cope with things, by Sparta kicking. “A bug was on my door so I SPARTA KICKED IT” “I can’t play the piano properly so I SPARTA KICKED IT” “Grandma was going down the stairs a bit too slow for my liking…”.

This is a huge stretch for me to do one, let alone thirty-one of these, so bare with me if the next few are a little ropey (whatever the fudge that means). I will also be trying to do little videos/voice recording to really test my tolerance levels (it’s like a necessary evil for me now) which will probably be instead of a whole lot of writing. So if you got an opinion and/or you want to plug something, get in contact.
 This is the Sparta kick, just in case you had no clue what i mean't!

Subjects I will be covering (got any ideas for more, be in touch)
The Narrow-minded
Fake people
Media views

Along with them I’m sure I’ll think of more, along with a few life stories.




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