Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Day Twenty-Three- Blaming Past Sean and the Book Of Anger!

I’m football crazy! Football mad! I’d spend time watching it if I had a dad (I have a dad). Now to try and power through another one of these blogs, can’t believe it’s the 24th day! Nearly done, then I could probably do a blog a week as I’ve actually quite enjoyed this. I have plenty of plans that I will reveal on the final days if you haven’t been listening to the podcast, all to which are schemes that licence testing. I also hit 500 views on my blog a day ago, so very happy about that! This blog is going to be about a little character called, Past Sean.

Past Sean is a Big Dick
I’m not talking about regretting my past, nothing like that. But the small choices or lazy moments that have then forced me to pick up the slack later down the road. Just looking at the bass I’ve never used which clutters my room makes me annoyed at "past Sean". I also bought a leather jacket that I never wear because it’s too much of a statement. I can’t be put in the bracket of emo rocker because I have a tendency to be happy and I love a cartwheel from time to time. But it even gets smaller then that, I’ve had to clean out mouldy cups from my room and have even nearly drunk out of them in the middle of the night.  All these things have been caused from "Past Sean"! I even think like that a bit now, I have a collection of bent and tattered photos on my wall that I had called the Happy Wall (this isn’t an attempt at a melodramatic metaphor I promise) but now all the photos are falling off and I’m tending to find them in strange places (had one stuck to my back for a few hours!). I would sort it out but I’m going to leave it for future Sean, for when he gets so annoyed at finding another photo in his boxers (ballbag paper cut anyone?).

I also once found a half eaten galaxy cake bar in my favourite bag which filled me with anger, only to remember specifically saying to myself “OK don’t forget about that”. I think referring my past mistakes as a living being kind of gives me comfort in the idea of becoming a more reliable/anal man, either that or I’m completely nuts ("Completely Nuts" being the arch nemesis of "Anal Man").

One thing I am thankful for is that I never do anything that I think I might look back on and hate in the future. Like getting a Nike tick shaved in the back of my hair or getting a piercing on my eyebrow (bellend boyband power!). One thing I think about that a friend of mine might regret is her mime video to a Disney song. If you don’t think it’s that bad then let me change that. She has edited it and done it seriously with no sense of irony or sillyness to it. She even does the lying on the bed laying her chin on her hands, then rocking her head side to side and singing. How can anyone do that without realising how silly it looks?! I think the only video I kind of look back and sigh is the video of me pulling forward one of those spring projected rocking horses in a kids playground then letting it go, smashing me in the nuts. Not because I didn’t find it funny, I did but, it just hurt so much (damn you Anal Man).

My brother was cleaning out his office when he found a book I had written in. I clamoured at this book to find what significant artefacts I can find out about myself. The first few pages were a list of things I’ve got to do, all as monotonous and unexciting as the next (as a previous attempt to eradicate "Past Sean", I presume). After a few pages, I started to get bored but then I noticed a bit of writing on a completely random page (literally was about 40 pages of blank and then this). On this page I had scribbled the line “anyone who says “darling I like being fashionably late” is a gimp”. To think this book is four years old! What had angered me so much that I had to write that down!

With the current situation of mine being a little bit sporadic, I have decided to give myself a little “to do” list. Along with that, I’m giving myself points (doing this blog is worth 10, a wopping 10!)! A little sad, but I don’t have a girlfriend to sigh at me about it, so I’m going to go ahead and do it and then let Future Sean look back and think how much of a ballknuckle I am/used to be. Inception… INCEPTION… IT’S STILL SPINNING!





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