Right, I’m about as erratic and as unreliable as possible with the dates of these blogs. I sometimes know what I’m going to write, other times I have no clue. This, I think, is going to be a bit of a ramble blog, and then I’ll tell you a little unimportant story from the Derren Brown promo. Oh and watch out for my amazing art work.
YouTube and IPhone Investigator
What tends to happen with these blogs, is that I will come on to the laptop with my mind set about what I’m going to write and then, when I get down to it, I splurge all my warmed up creative juices on things I can watch on YouTube. These videos on YouTube aren’t educational, nor do I garner any self respect from it. It’s all mostly stupid and silly videos that I hope exist. These subject headings are usually inane, nonsensical bullsquit like “badger riding Kangaroo” (that video does actually exist, but not on YouTube, it ruined my Tuesday) and “swallowing egg whole”.
On the IPhone you can search on Google, when you type something in, it saves what’s been entered so you can go back to it. I recently looked at the list I’ve created since owning this phone, and became slightly worried with how someone may see it without knowing the back story! Here’s the top four things on my Google history, on the IPhone.
Yes, without knowing where it all come from, it’ll probably seem about as disturbing as a gimps basement (to be honest, it does sound like a checklist usually found in a gimps basement!). The Christopher Walken bit was to show my step dad who he was (who Christopher Walken was, my step dad wasn’t having a case of forgotten identity), as I had previously showed him The Walken Dead (you can see below) and it meant nothing to him as he had no clue who he was, which was kind of the main thing about that video. The other three was to confirm what they meant, as I never usually like to say something without knowing 100% that I’m using said word/phrase correctly! Like when I used the phrase “lets raise the flag and see who salutes” when I was 14, as a euphemism. Why? Because I was a bad ass 14 year old of course. (I didn’t actually say that, I didn’t use euphemisms then, I was too busy deciphering Einstein’s theory of relativity, that and playing Final Fantasy 7….. Mainly the latter).
Well, yeah I did an advert for Derren Brown’s new show, was really awesome! Everyone was lovely which is always super nice. I’ve done things for television where I’ve hated every moment, but this time it was fun! Except the synchronised bit! Hated that so bad. They hired 20 dancers to do it with us, but they decided to have Mr 2 Left Face here to be near the front! I just couldn’t stop getting it wrong! It was simple and yet I’d either not bend my neck far enough or not move fast enough out of camera shot. Even though the lady beside me was a lovely older lady who walked slower then the younger people surrounding her. There was even one take where I forgot to take the phone out of my pocket so we had to stop and do it again, I’ve never had evils by 50 people instantaneously before, I felt kind of powerful! Yes I got a distinction in dance at college, but that was because the teacher rewarded me for taking myself completely out of my comfort zone with the strip at the showcase (little did she know). It also didn’t help when we were doing it under about 20 huge light bulbs, so everyone was feeling the heat. My face wasn’t sweating like the others, but, to put it bluntly, my area was! I had 2 pairs of jeans on because they didn’t have the right size for me, so I had to have my original jeans on underneath. It felt like I had been tea bagging lava.
I had a chance to quickly meet Derren Brown, I walked past him as he was speaking to 2 other guys. I’ve gone ahead and scripted this, with the possible inner thoughts of the great Derren Brown himself. I think this situation is an example of how I presume I’m being seemingly rude when I don’t mean to be at all (when around new people). Call it being self conscious of others accidental forced (by me) perception. I think I do this because of all the accusations of me being arrogant back in the day because I was nodding to criticism in a way they didn’t like, so since then, I’ve been really aware of what I say and how I say it. I never want people to think ill of me if I’m genuinely being nice or taking criticism on board, anyway. I’m sure his response was deliberate and not a panic button response, don’t see why it would be as I’m sure he’s dealt with stranger people while doing magic tricks on the street! (Initially had to write corridor in the scene heading, as that’s where it took place in, except I found that word such a mind frick, look at it, seriously look at it! How weird is that word!)
INT. CORRIDOR AT GREENFORD STUDIOS
SEAN enters wearing two pairs of jeans and a hoodie, this man radiates awesomeness (I’m the writer, I get to say what I want). As he plods along in the corridor, his eyes meet with magician and nice man, DERREN BROWN. DERREN is talking to two people while wearing a really nice suit. SEAN attempts a drive-by conversation.
Hello mate, you OK?
Sean notices the suit, his obligations to always compliment nice fabric overrides his vocal chords.
SEAN V.O (INNER THOUGHT)
What a lovely bit of suitage
Yeah I’m good thank you, nice suit by the way!
DERREN, taken off-guard by this sudden, badly composed compliment, responds.
DERREN V.O (INNER THOUGHT)
Thank you, yes, love your suit as well.
SEAN smiles and waves a hand as if to say “you’re too kind!” Without looking back to see DERREN’S face, leaving the ending of the drive-by to SEAN’S mind.
SEAN V.O (INNER THOUGHT)
Shit, I think he may have thought I was being sarcastic! Keep walking, avoid eye contact, warn Batman.
SEAN then, understandably, sings Holy Diver by Killswitch Engage out loud to drown out all the voices in his head, telling him to draw the guy who says “wonga” in the Envirophone adverts over the walls as a coping mechanism.
He genuinely seemed like a really nice, charismatic man. Which I always find is my first question when my friends meet famous people. I don’t like asking, is he a dick? Or did he kick off on set? Or anything like that, it’s always, “was he nice?” And then, out of my own insecurity, I ask “how tall was he/she?” So, to answer my own questions, he seemed really nice, and he was about 5 ft 8/5 ft 10? He seemed like the type of guy you’d want as a really cool uncle or wingman!
Oh and just to add, the main cast that were doing the puppet stuff with me were really nice as well and a pleasure to hang out/work with. There was one or two that I didn’t get to speak to as much even though I wanted to, but I’ve got them on Twitter now so all good (sneaky walking, social stalking, eating cabbage, swearing at Savage, it’s Twitter!!) Although, it turned out I was the only one there who hadn’t been to drama school, so I had no stories I could of bantered them with, I think I’m just going to have to deal with that for now!
I’m going to do a short blog about this during the week. As much as I am OK which then renders it unnecessary in a way. The effort I’ve put into it makes it necessary! “What Effort??” You say! Well I tried to do a really really silly comic strip drawing which in my mind would take 10 minutes; it’s taken me 2 hours so far. This is one of the boxes. I’m as sorry as you are.
One of the more nuts blogs. Oh and I’m pretty sure I did say I have the drawing capability of an 8 year old, didn’t I?