I know I know, what’s happened to the title? Well I felt that I had to change with the times and as my old title didn’t really have any serious undertones at all, I thought this new one would! “Ripping Water”, sounds like a song in the next Razorlight album doesn’t it? I felt it was quite poetic and theoretically impossible to do, which always adds to the beauty of the imagery (and it’s just quite fun to say!) I didn’t want to just name it “Sean Joseph Young’s current blog” as it sounds a bit plain. “Ripping Water” sounds quite mysterious and hasn’t got a strange joke connected to it. I’ve even tried to make a joke out of it, something under the lines of “I’m so ill, I’m ripping water”. But it isn’t funny enough to be conceived as a joke (so you’re welcome to steal it, you know who you are). I tried other titles that I hoped would have a serious undertone, but after a while I realised most of them didn’t have a serious undertone, just more of a homicide next door kind, the kind of undertone a tent at a horse event would cover up (too dark? I think you may have to get used to it I’m afraid!).
Honest Opinion
I’ve always felt my blogs lacked something (a loving carer I guess, the current one spits in my soup), it was about ¾ fun and games and ¼ serious. I tried to balance it out when actually; I shouldn’t try to balance it at all. I should do whatever the shit I want! Obviously I’m still going to do the whole “no names” thing (unless you’ve been really bad, watch out for next blog as I give Hitler a right cheeky ribbing). If I want to throw out some honest revelations in my life to you all then I should, if I think Kirsten Stewart looks like a 13 year old boy with her hair tied back on that horse in the new Snow White trailer (which looks freaking awesome by the way, and I still would get to know Kirsten Stewarts parents. When her hairs’ down she’s freaking cute, I can overlook the 13 year old boy thing, or embrace it? Living the dream), then I’m going to say it with no paedophile jokes whatsoever (cough). Let’s just all have fun, don’t turn your nose up, just embrace it at all. Offence is choice not genetic, humour is a social thing, so come on, let’s have a metaphorical beer and smile.
Summary
Think of this name transition as Season 2 of my blogs. I got a lot to tell you guys and, as it’s going to be more irregular then Frankie Cocozza’s heartbeat, I won’t tell you an exact date. Just think of it as the good ol’ times when Christmas was just when you felt a bit generous some days, and not a set day when Jesus decided to be born’d so his big fish corporate friends could earn money from you all being forced to fake a smile and act sincere about a present you receive, not because you hate the present, but because that present was the present you gave them last year, who in turn gave the same fake smile the year previous because it was shit. Or something.
Follow me on Twitter, one of my goals was to get more followers then how many I’m currently following (I can’t help pressing the follow button on certain people, and in Twitter). As payment, every 20 people I get following me is a + on the number of hit songs titles I’m going to add onto a big old list, which I’m then going to have to try and quote during a clueless date (I’m fucked), while being video’d of course (as much as I like personal enjoyment enjoyed by the few). @seanjosephyoung
Right, I’m about as erratic and as unreliable as possible with the dates of these blogs. I sometimes know what I’m going to write, other times I have no clue. This, I think, is going to be a bit of a ramble blog, and then I’ll tell you a little unimportant story from the Derren Brown promo. Oh and watch out for my amazing art work.
YouTube and IPhone Investigator
What tends to happen with these blogs, is that I will come on to the laptop with my mind set about what I’m going to write and then, when I get down to it, I splurge all my warmed up creative juices on things I can watch on YouTube. These videos on YouTube aren’t educational, nor do I garner any self respect from it. It’s all mostly stupid and silly videos that I hope exist. These subject headings are usually inane, nonsensical bullsquit like “badger riding Kangaroo” (that video does actually exist, but not on YouTube, it ruined my Tuesday) and “swallowing egg whole”.
On the IPhone you can search on Google, when you type something in, it saves what’s been entered so you can go back to it. I recently looked at the list I’ve created since owning this phone, and became slightly worried with how someone may see it without knowing the back story! Here’s the top four things on my Google history, on the IPhone.
Blue balls
Christopher Walken
Graphite
Migrant Workers
Yes, without knowing where it all come from, it’ll probably seem about as disturbing as a gimps basement (to be honest, it does sound like a checklist usually found in a gimps basement!). The Christopher Walken bit was to show my step dad who he was (who Christopher Walken was, my step dad wasn’t having a case of forgotten identity), as I had previously showed him The Walken Dead (you can see below) and it meant nothing to him as he had no clue who he was, which was kind of the main thing about that video. The other three was to confirm what they meant, as I never usually like to say something without knowing 100% that I’m using said word/phrase correctly! Like when I used the phrase “lets raise the flag and see who salutes” when I was 14, as a euphemism. Why? Because I was a bad ass 14 year old of course. (I didn’t actually say that, I didn’t use euphemisms then, I was too busy deciphering Einstein’s theory of relativity, that and playing Final Fantasy 7….. Mainly the latter).
Derren Brown
Well, yeah I did an advert for Derren Brown’s new show, was really awesome! Everyone was lovely which is always super nice. I’ve done things for television where I’ve hated every moment, but this time it was fun! Except the synchronised bit! Hated that so bad. They hired 20 dancers to do it with us, but they decided to have Mr 2 Left Face here to be near the front! I just couldn’t stop getting it wrong! It was simple and yet I’d either not bend my neck far enough or not move fast enough out of camera shot. Even though the lady beside me was a lovely older lady who walked slower then the younger people surrounding her. There was even one take where I forgot to take the phone out of my pocket so we had to stop and do it again, I’ve never had evils by 50 people instantaneously before, I felt kind of powerful! Yes I got a distinction in dance at college, but that was because the teacher rewarded me for taking myself completely out of my comfort zone with the strip at the showcase (little did she know). It also didn’t help when we were doing it under about 20 huge light bulbs, so everyone was feeling the heat. My face wasn’t sweating like the others, but, to put it bluntly, my area was! I had 2 pairs of jeans on because they didn’t have the right size for me, so I had to have my original jeans on underneath. It felt like I had been tea bagging lava.
I had a chance to quickly meet Derren Brown, I walked past him as he was speaking to 2 other guys. I’ve gone ahead and scripted this, with the possible inner thoughts of the great Derren Brown himself. I think this situation is an example of how I presume I’m being seemingly rude when I don’t mean to be at all (when around new people). Call it being self conscious of others accidental forced (by me) perception. I think I do this because of all the accusations of me being arrogant back in the day because I was nodding to criticism in a way they didn’t like, so since then, I’ve been really aware of what I say and how I say it. I never want people to think ill of me if I’m genuinely being nice or taking criticism on board, anyway. I’m sure his response was deliberate and not a panic button response, don’t see why it would be as I’m sure he’s dealt with stranger people while doing magic tricks on the street! (Initially had to write corridor in the scene heading, as that’s where it took place in, except I found that word such a mind frick, look at it, seriously look at it! How weird is that word!)
INT. CORRIDOR AT GREENFORD STUDIOS
SEAN enters wearing two pairs of jeans and a hoodie, this man radiates awesomeness (I’m the writer, I get to say what I want). As he plods along in the corridor, his eyes meet with magician and nice man, DERREN BROWN. DERREN is talking to two people while wearing a really nice suit. SEAN attempts a drive-by conversation.
SEAN
Alright!
DERREN
Hello mate, you OK?
Sean notices the suit, his obligations to always compliment nice fabric overrides his vocal chords.
SEAN V.O (INNER THOUGHT)
What a lovely bit of suitage
SEAN
Yeah I’m good thank you, nice suit by the way!
DERREN, taken off-guard by this sudden, badly composed compliment, responds.
DERREN V.O (INNER THOUGHT)
What?
DERREN
Thank you, yes, love your suit as well.
SEAN smiles and waves a hand as if to say “you’re too kind!” Without looking back to see DERREN’S face, leaving the ending of the drive-by to SEAN’S mind.
SEAN V.O (INNER THOUGHT)
Shit, I think he may have thought I was being sarcastic! Keep walking, avoid eye contact, warn Batman.
SEAN then, understandably, sings Holy Diver by Killswitch Engage out loud to drown out all the voices in his head, telling him to draw the guy who says “wonga” in the Envirophone adverts over the walls as a coping mechanism.
He genuinely seemed like a really nice, charismatic man. Which I always find is my first question when my friends meet famous people. I don’t like asking, is he a dick? Or did he kick off on set? Or anything like that, it’s always, “was he nice?” And then, out of my own insecurity, I ask “how tall was he/she?” So, to answer my own questions, he seemed really nice, and he was about 5 ft 8/5 ft 10? He seemed like the type of guy you’d want as a really cool uncle or wingman!
Oh and just to add, the main cast that were doing the puppet stuff with me were really nice as well and a pleasure to hang out/work with. There was one or two that I didn’t get to speak to as much even though I wanted to, but I’ve got them on Twitter now so all good (sneaky walking, social stalking, eating cabbage, swearing at Savage, it’s Twitter!!) Although, it turned out I was the only one there who hadn’t been to drama school, so I had no stories I could of bantered them with, I think I’m just going to have to deal with that for now!
Shoulder Injury
I’m going to do a short blog about this during the week. As much as I am OK which then renders it unnecessary in a way. The effort I’ve put into it makes it necessary! “What Effort??” You say! Well I tried to do a really really silly comic strip drawing which in my mind would take 10 minutes; it’s taken me 2 hours so far. This is one of the boxes. I’m as sorry as you are.
Summary
One of the more nuts blogs. Oh and I’m pretty sure I did say I have the drawing capability of an 8 year old, didn’t I?
“Hey Sean, try and sort yourself out quickly so we can leave early” “OK sure”. Two hours later “Sean, you sorted?” “Yes”. Meanwhile in reality, I’ve gone ahead and wasted about 2hours looking at trailers and not done anything else! So, I thought I’d put it to use by putting up my top four Trailers! There are obvious ones I was going to link but have decided not to. Want to know my obvious ones? New Dark Knight Trailer to which I’m really excited about (Bane looks like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat but I’m really not complaining). Others are Fright Night and the new Johnny English filmoreno. Anyway, my top four trailers of this week!
Top Four Trailers of the Week
Four: The Ides of March
I just couldn't not put this in. I happen to not only be a huge fan of Ryan Gosling and George Clooney (slight man crush on him), but Paul Giamatti as well. If you have ever seen him in Shoot'em Up or Sideways, you’d understand my love for him. So with those powerhouses, along with Philip Seymour Hoffmen, it is guaranteed to atleast be a semi adequate film. This slick film is about an idealistic Ryan Gosling learning all about the dos and don’ts in the dirty game of politics. Probably a possible Oscar contender, if not that then an obvious further stepping stone Ryan Gosling is on to solidify him as a well regarded actor.
Three: Archies Final Project
This stylised documentary style movie has won a ludicrous amount of film awards, understandably as well. It’s got a real Super size Me/Zeitgeist sort of feel mixed with shards of A Scanner Darkly with the cartoon style bits. Gabriel Sunday plays Archibold Holden Buster Williams (I’d feel the same way he does if I had that name) who plans to film his own suicide for his film project, this idea brings attention from all those around him, including the nutty Sierra Silver (played by Brooke Nevin). The film looks entertaining, maybe a little heavy at points but there isn’t anything wrong with that. Would definitely fill the independent craving hole (you filthy devil you). Huge props to Gabriel Sunday, the guy wrote, edited and produced this film!
Two: The Last Circus
This looks mental. Absolutely mental! I know people who have problems with foreign films because of there style and because they just can’t be asked to read (if you feel that way then you are missing out on Guillermo Del Toro movies like Pan’s and The Orphanage along with Rec and Javier Bardem’s Biutiful…Microsoft Word is going nuts at that sentence, the racist). This film honestly looks awe-inspiring and creatively driven in so many directions. It really is admirable in this day and age of movies that suffer from originality and sequelitis (you can get cream for that) that they would have the balls to release this.
In 1937, a "Happy" clown is forcibly recruited to serve in the Spanish Civil War, where he massacres an entire platoon with a machete still in costume.
In 1973, near the end of the Franco regime, the clown's son, Javier, follows in his father's footsteps to become a clown, but he is too miserable to be funny and is instead relegated to play the part of the Sad Clown. There he is repeatedly humiliated by the Happy Clown Sergio for the entertainment of others. Javier later falls in love with Sergio's gorgeous acrobat wife, Natalia. A love triangle ensues between the three of them, and the two clowns engage in a horrific battle with one another (this was taken from Wikipedia, I’m running out of time and the scary clown boner I have is starting to hurt).
One: Tucker and Dale vs Evil
I’m really craving this film, like maoam sugarcoated in crack cocaine. It has a sexy Shaun of the Dead feel to it. This spoof movie has such an original idea, showing the story of the hicks who aren’t actually killing them but have become a centre focus of a series of unfortunate accidents and presumptions (presumptions causing problems? Unheard of in life, sour sour flower power….*shrugs*). Not that I’m saying the mutated hicks in The Hills Have Eyes weren’t killing anyone (chainsaw hug anyone?). The hillbillys are played by Tyler Labine (Reapers) and Alan Tudyk (Firefly, Serenity, I Robot, Dodgeball).
Summary
If your goal is to be disturbed by a film then The Hills Have Eyes Two is the film for you! Hell, the first three minutes involving a pregnant lady was disturbing enough, let alone the badger in a gimp mask (not actually in there, a boy can dream though). Anyway, I apologise if you want a further in-depth analysis of these films, I’m not clambering at excuses like a child with a bloody knife and a new furry jacket, but I haven’t watched the movies yet so will probably be able to really go into the Mise-en-scène on a later date. Have a good weekend my beardy weirdies (that’s right, you got a name now, so off you go and frolock!)
I think you truly have lost a part of your soul if you find yourself shouting at your computer because of someone’s narrow minded/ignorant perspective. Deep I know. But, anyone who connects David and Victoria Beckham’s recent odd choice of baby name (Harper Seven) to “the impending inevitability of illegal immigrants stealing the tax payers job” (their words not mine) has something wrong with them. So, this will be a blog about the narrow minded views shown by the ignorant. The start of comedic gold, right?
Small scale (Crohns disease?! Pfft, Scone’s ma Knees)
I’m going to start small, and I will work my way up (like my wife! Whatever that means, I think I’m saying she’s a dwarf making her way up a step ladder?). An example of this that I know about was a situation involving a friend of mine with the same disease as me (Crohn’s Disease, ladies form a cue). He was asked "what is Crohn’s Disease?" He tries to answer but a person (we will call her a willy) said “It’s just when you shit a lot” (and she wasn’t joking, I would of let her off is she was). Now don’t get me wrong, it is part of it that many are inflicted with, but there is so much more to it then that. Crohn’s Disease is the inflammation of the bow. It can cause severe pain, make you have some of your intestines cut out and replaced with a colostomy bag and enhances the chances of getting other things too depressing to mention. Not a fun disease. The person she said it to, has it so much worse then me, the poor bloke has to get ion infusions and injects’ himself every two weeks along with being on pills. What she said was ignorant, to dismiss a disease with just a single belief of her own because of her (un)education on the matter. But this is a smaller scale example, not anything worth getting upset about.
I understand that people may not know a lot about Crohns Disease, and I will be doing a blog about it and my experience with coping and that one day.
Larger Scale (Obamainator baby)
An example of this in a larger scale (it truly is about 100x as worse as saying “you just shit a lot”). During the 2008 presidential campaign involving Barack Obama and John Mccain, a number of interviews took place at a rally for the Republican Party. A news team went over and asked members of the rally to why they oppose Obama, I’m not going to say what they said, but I will put the link below. Watch it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRqcfqiXCX0
Now, that is narrow minded on a big scale. Fair enough if you understand the other side but you prefer playing for the other team, that’s fine. I’m all up for free will and democracy. But being fed lies that only take a little bit of common sense to realise that they might be wrong, or they might have been a victim of Chinese whispers, that’s not OK. The passion to which they spoke their preposterous and slanderous thoughts is worrying. To think Sarah Palin could gain any power from the 2012 election or anyone with a similar viewpoint because of these people is alarming. The same as any ill educated arse chief who wants' there views heard could then herd up a collection of other ill educated sheep and cause mischief in any country. Also, the name of the youtube video really does say misconception, but hey! Misconception has the word concept in it, concept being an idea, which in turn is a theory! Let’s go with this theory, and keep it a theory! We don’t want the disgusting omnipotence of fact creeping into our minds!
It’s these things that get me down. But I genuinely believe these “free-will hating freedom fighters” are a minority in most civilised countries. There are plenty of over cases that I could discuss and might do over the month, but I just thought I’d choose something old and incredibly obvious to avoid writing millions of words.
Also on a lighter note, Sarah Palin really does show the power of being a pretty woman doesn’t she? If she was a man and revealed she shot bears in Alaska and named her son Track because she likes running, you’d think she was a bit of a nutter. There is another video where people turned up to her book signing, they were then asked opinions on her. They were great with the adjectives but not on her actual policies. Infact, it kind of made it seem they had no clue what they were talking about when it came to the actual important stuff, but hey, that's just my opinion. Link is down below.
Also, doesn’t the guy who says Obama is a wolf wearing the jacket of a sheep and the shoes of a rapist look a lot like Eli from There Will be Blood?!
Summary
I understand if people would rather stay ignorant because they are scared of what would happen if they open there eyes. I do that on a small scale when the light reflects on my cup of water and I see dust and hair in it, I just deny its existence and drink it. But sometimes you got to step out of your comfort zone and really learn about what’s on the other side. Try to acknowledge that you’re actually drinking from a very dirty cup. Draw your own painting instead of getting someone else’s tattooed, it’s so much easier to edit that way.
Had a few good things said about my blogs so far! No doubt the highlight being “yesterday’s blog made me horny”. If I could get a few more reviews like that, then I think I’d be very happy. Now that we got the positive out the way, what a terrible day it’s been. Not a terrible, “god people are bastards and the worlds against me” kind of way, but more of a collection of small things kind of terrible. I woke up bitten like I’ve joined an orgy, then found out everyone there is a cannibal. I managed to bite my lip twice in the same place (not as easy as my huge lips would make you think). My internet keeps going down (make your own joke here). Lastly, I stubbed my toe and the pain just won’t go away! So this blog will be all about, mildly tiny, irritating things (like your penis).
The Top Five Small but still Irritating Things:
Five: Junk Mail. I think that’s pretty much with everyone. The amount of penis enlargement emails I get is starting to make me feel insecure. Especially seeing as though they are being sent by my ex (they aren’t, trust me…She has no internet where she is *sharp violin sound*. That place being home, her internet provider is horrible).
Four: Treading on lego or turned up plug sockets. No explanation to why because well, I think we all know why.
Three: People who point a lot. I know that’s really strange but I just, can’t stand it. If it’s necessary for you to point, maybe you’re giving a direction, that’s fine. But if you’re mid conversation and you point at the person! Three or four times in the space of half an hour is fine, but if you do it for emphasis after every sentence, GFY.
Two: White women, Kidding. People who misuse the word “irony”. I have found that the new hipster thing to do is to be witty and ironic. I haven’t put hipsters because I enjoy it when they try to be witty, it makes me laugh, not in the way they wanted, but it’s still funny. I genuinely read a facebook status (my favourite place to go for bullshit) “Just ate a snickers bar, irony!”, it wasn’t a joke, it was genuine, and people liked it. The only way that would be ironic is if that snickers bar was trying to eat you!
One: When people take photos of there reflection in the bathroom of a club. There is just something really shitty about that… I actually played a game with a friend where we chose an album and guessed how many toilet photos there will be, and you get double points if they are doing the popular girl pose (so many points). There are probably loads of photos where you have just taken a number 1 or 2, hell there are photos of people taking a number 1 or 2. But, I’d rather not be able to confirm it, I like a mystery, especially one that I’m not involved in.
Summary
If one day, I get a junk email that contains a photo of a collection of girls pointing at each other while talking in a toilet with the subject title: “irony”. I’d probably go on a rampage. Then during that rampage I tread on a turned up plug socket, I will give up on the world.
Off topic quickly
I love sooty. Finding out he put Paul Daniel in the hospital for throwing a pizza at his face just makes me all warm inside. Not that I hate Paul Daniel, I just love Sooty that much and love seeing him trend on twitter for another reason other then his court case.
Day 2 and already I’m slightly struggling. Before getting in a panic (well more of a slight sigh then a full blown sweaty “find the keys” panic) about whether the ideas have run dry already, they haven’t. I just don’t want to “blow my load” on the next 7 days then be forced to write about my favourite cheese or how much I find extended eye contact alluring but creepy at the same time. But again that somewhat prejudice died out as well because those topics are probably inevitable. So this blog shall be all about, procrastination.
Procrastination
I’m fantastic at it, even before I wrote this I finished about 40 starburst, even though after about 10 of them I said “this will be the last one, then I will get down to some work”. In-fact, while I’ve written this blog, I’ve taken a few breaks, watched Mock the Week and QI on youtube and thought about playing guitar, then realised it might need some effort. I’m not lazy, I’m just a bit “motivation in-sufficient”. I’d blame it on the insomnia tiring me out but I’ve always been like that depending on the day or task at hand. I’ve found out over the years that I’m terrible at doing what I’m told. I don’t burn the house down then graffiti “shit on the system” in marker pens all over town hall. I just find myself incapable of doing a good job when I have someone I don’t connect with at all breathing down my neck (there’s an incest joke here somewhere).
Verbal assault, in front of an audience.
Although, there was an exception to that in GCSE. I loved my form tutor, she was a lovely lady and taught me French, but I failed really badly at it (got an f, an f for French of course). I liked her so much, that when I was told during graduation that I would have to get on the microphone in front of about 600-900 parents/teachers and say a nice thing about her, I was very much up for it. I watched as uncharismatic (maybe they were doing deadpan style but without jokes) people read from a cue card which was no doubt written by the teacher themselves. They splurted out the most typical, boring (but appropriate no doubt) and recycled stuff about the chosen teacher. Things like “he is an inspiration”, “she has taught me things I never thought I’d understand” “he helped me get rid of the body by saying I should feed them to pigs”. Made me think, the naughty ones had no hand in thinking of things to say.
It got to my turn, I lined up as people received there certificates to say they’ve managed to live in Canons High School for 4 years. I was slightly nervous and I debated what I should say. “Should I go with the recycled stuff discussed earlier or shall I just go with, what I just thought of, planned or improvised, planned or improvised”. I went with improvised. So 600-900 people watched me say with relative calm and swagger “Yeah Miss Grainger is a fantastic teacher, and if I was 30 years older, thwa…”. Luckily they all laughed and clapped which was fantastic because if they were silent I’d be on a register of some sort. She wasn’t creeped out either just very red, either from embarrassment or shame that a somewhat presumably sensible student (which was a bit rare in my school) had just proclaimed to the parents of the school that he’d do her if he was 46. Best thing about it was she didn’t hit me, she just said “30 years older?”, not that I’m saying I had a chance, at all. She probably wanted to headbutt me for what I had caused, because she wasn’t very much into being talked about one on one, let alone becoming a victim of verbal sexual assault in front of an audience of 600+.
Summary
Well I guess this is a really good advertisement for my blog, I go to try and talk about a subject as important as procrastination and I side track into a story about being me being a dickhoop. And I changed the teachers name of course! Don’t want to make her anymore embarrassed then she was. But if you were there you’d know the name and the somewhat bewildered looks of some of my class mates! I’ve been saying this for about 3-4 years now, if anyone videoed that and the “talk” Sahil and I did I’d be eternally grateful. My mum tried to video it but she got shakey hand syndrome which was then followed with the thought of “I’m sure Sean would only want to watch the first five minutes of this anyway”. I forgive her though, mums are awesome.
