Ripping Water: Microsoft Word

Monday, 15 August 2011

Day Fourteen- Top Five Things i've Read/Seen on Facebook

Introduction

This is going to be a fairly short one as I have a lot to do, got a casting for Disney tomorrow so I have to learn lines, learn a song and try to not swear as much. Also I have yesterdays podcast to do as we were doing it yesterday but I completely crashed on it so expect similar today cause I am so ridiculously tired. These are the top five things I’ve read on facebook.

Top Five Things I’ve Read/Seen on Facebook.

Five: Basmati rice

During the lootings, a lot of things were stolen, nothing more ridiculous then just grabbing basmati rice (tesco brand aswell!). He then posted it up on facebook, made it his facebook profile and then made a like group. Obviously he was a man of great humour. To which apparently he has now been prosecuted.

Four: Photoshop Belly Error

This one wasn’t even on the “top ten photoshopped photos” like group as it actually had a friend I won’t name on it. It was her in a bikini except she has used the healing brush on her sides to make her look skinny. It all looked fine except the straight line that the side of the cupboard should have been taking. Could not stop laughing and then I felt really bad, but still laughed anyway, I wonder if she knows? No-one has commented on it and I don’t think I will either, but umm if you’re reading this, change it before someone notices and makes a joke at your expense on a blog or something. And you’re an awesome lady and don’t need the healing brush for anything (good save! Thank you Terry).

Three: Doctor Who Moron

Friend of mine was talking about Doctor Who on his status with a couple of people. They mentioned that the title for the new episode is “Killing Hitler”. Then someone intervines on the conversation and says “I thought Hitler was already dead? :S”. Idiot.

Two: I’m a Super Model

For a few months a girl on my friends facebook was boasting that she is a super model and that she is going to do a photoshoot in May. May comes along, she boasts that she has now done the photoshoot and she can’t wait for the photos to be available. July comes along and she posts them all, she was dead proud and constantly said she was the best person the photographer has ever worked for and that she was now a super model. She even started being really pretentious and arrogant on other peoples photos, always trying to drop in her new catchphrase which was “being a super model”. The thing is, they were all done by a company, a company that you pay huge amounts to too photograph you, which I’m so totally sure all super models would do! Right? Funny thing is, the photos she’s been tagged in lately is her in a Matalan uniform.

One: Church Picture

Found this one today! On facebook they have a feature when they show the picture of your friends newly acquired friends. One of them was of a girl with hardly anything on. I clicked the photo to see whats gwaning, it was quite a slutty photo of a girl with just a bra on sitting outside a church. She wasn’t the greatest looking but she gained my admiration for effort anyway. But this isn’t the really funny but awkward thing, below it, the mother of the girl had wrote a comment saying “19 years ago my husband and I got married at that church, this is what we produced”. Now that could either go two ways, either she is ashamed of that girl for the photo, or she is super proud. You make a choice about what emotions that makes you feel! Mine’s a little creeped out if it’s the latter.

Summary

Need some stand up material when you’re ill, facebook it. Shortest summary ever!!

Twitter

www.twitter.com/seanjosephyoung

Tumblr

www.themetaphoricalbeard.tumblr.com

Blogspot

www.themetaphoricalbeard.blogspot.com

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Day Seven- Microsoft at the Wrong Time, Word

Introduction

So I’m quarter of the way through!I’ve enjoyed it more then I thought I would, which is always a nice thing to happen. But, the more I use Microsoft word, the more I realise it really is as stupid as some people say. No wonder the paper clip guy has been in rehab so many times! It does the green line under a sentence and then its suggestion would make it look like it was my first attempt at the English language. If you are too young to remember the paperclip then you’re not welcome on my blog (not kidding! OK I’m kidding). Although, I have had loads of instances of when my spelling of a word has been so bad that Word can’t even think of any examples to what I was attempting to spell.

What Makes blogs Irritating

I think the title goes with writing in general on a computer (if you have seen my actual writing with a pen, you’d understand why I use a computer).

Having mental block on a deadline is really annoying, I’ve been trying to fire these out between a 5-7 window but that hasn’t worked at all.

Having conflicting ideas and trying to avoid causing outrage is another thing that I hate, especially when you have writing block. I literally just had to get rid of doing a blog about riots because I tried to understand it from all angles, but having that approach really punts you in the Perineum. I’m all up for a bit of a challenge, but not one that makes me as angry as some of the rioters. Also if I wasn’t annoyed enough from writing a page and a half of conflicting views only to realise that it’s better off forgetting about it, Microsoft word then decides to delete letters that are in front of a word I’m trying to retype. So this is going to be a bit of a short blog to avoid me dropkicking my laptop out of a window. It keeps coming and going as well which makes me think “oh yay now I can actually edit my mistakes without losing everything” only to then do it blindly and not realise that I’ve lost about three sentences from a séance type ramble. I’m not even going to risk inserting bracket jokes because if it happens again then I’m going to punch a whale in the urethra.

Don’t want to write, so let’s do a Podcast

Don’t get me wrong, I loved doing the podcast yesterday, it was a ton of fun and it gave an opportunity for my brother to showcase his speaking talent some more (even though about 50minutes of it was me). A reason for doing it was that I didn’t want to write because sometimes it takes ages, completely forgetting how long it takes for a podcast to be done properly! The podcast was 1h 5minutes long, I then had to listen to

it two more times to edit it down and get rid of the truly offensive parts. I then spent an hour and a half setting up a profile on a hosting side and scratching my eyes out with a mars bar because of the hubbub caused from the offer of having it available on itunes, to which I still haven’t sorted! All in all, I started the podcast at 2pm and finished (minus the itunes) at 11:30pm.