Heard an alarming buzzing noise, thought it was the laptop. Turned out it wasn’t the laptop but was coming from my mum shaving my step dads back. Brilliant. Today has been allright just quite frustrating for no good reason. What has ultimately frustrated me in a tiny way is the mental block I am currently having. I just don’t feel capable of having an intriguing analytical thought today, at all. So it’s actually going to be a short one to avoid causing any issue! Here is my top three non-obvious comedians:
Three: Russell Kane
Two: Simon Evans
One: Jon Richardson
Summary
Loved Russell Kane as soon as he started doing the fiva usa idents a few years back. Simon Evans was brilliant as the warm up when i went to see Lee Mack. Can't find a really good video of him but still!
Jon Richarson is a sublime comedian and one I kind of relate too the most. Always loved him since he done the radio six show with Russell Howard and I’m really glad he is starting to make a successful career for himself.
This might be a short one, it might not. Actually I won’t put it in that bracket I’ll just put it in the “just one of those day’s” category. This is due to my tiredness along with contributing factors of not feeling well at all and others I don’t feel necessary to mention. I won’t go into yesterday night to which is a factor to blame in why I’d probably feel a little bothered/like a mess, but lets just say, it was “one of those nights”.
One of Those Days
This “just one of those days” scenario is a day compacted with tiny mishaps and unfortunate events. So far I’ve managed to forget I had crisps in my pocket when I sat down, got up to fast from a lying position and lost sight for a few seconds and fell up the stairs (not downstairs, I’m not an animal). The best one was when I tried to pump myself up for the day by looking in the mirror and telling myself “it’ll all be ok” (I never usually do that, too scared my reflection will reply with “nothing will be ok until you kill your neighbours” or something to that description), only to notice I had chocolate on the side of my neck, which is bad, but not as bad as recalling the last time I had chocolate was yesterday afternoon. My reaction to it all could be a number of options, all as significant and drama queeny the higher up the metaphorical ladder of options I go. I’ve gone with the option of sighing and then getting on with it (which is how I deal with pretty much all my problems, even when I had a problem about how much I sigh). The one I try to avoid the most is getting angry at something that I can’t change, this is due to the fact that I will gain nothing from getting myself so stressed out about it (F**K YOU LARGE HADRON COLLIDER, WHY DON’T YOU PARTICLE ACCELORATE THESE NUTS WHILE YOU ATTEMPT TO UNDERSTAND THE DEEPER MEANING OF MY GOOCH, anyway.) Actually completely off subject for a moment, comedian appreciation time:
Why Get so Angry at Nothing?
I try not to get angry at the small things, what’s the point of it? It’ll just get me more stressed, which in turn isn’t good for my health or the people surrounding me (when I get angry I have a tendency to roundhouse kick blindly, I don’t actually but can you imagine?! I can, you won’t believe what I just imagined! That’s right, a rhino playing hopscotch on the back of a tiny unicorn, the spike headed cracka). When I see people go all drama queen on my ass and get really angry about the small things, I just get down. Then when they’ve resolved their problems by listening to some depressing music and dropkicking a dyslexic down some alphabetty spaghetti stairs (it’s a featuring trend in Slovakia), they are met with a disappointed smile, as they notice I wasn’t really cool with the outburst.
A problem of mine is that I tend to give people too many excuses, in the sometimes futile attempt to understand the modicum of motivation they had used to be disgruntled. But when it comes down to it, I tend to fall back on the more plausible and consistently correct deduction that they are just over reacting and being a little childish. I just don’t get why people relish in making a big deal out of a little thing. It’s like saying “the car is ruined” just because someone deleted a photo of said car on their phone.
Why can’t people just realise that maybe some things aren’t worth getting angry about? Why can’t we all just notice that when thing’s can’t be changed, then they can’t be changed, no matter how many post-boxes you kick and punch out of primal frustration and built up rage. I say this because I used to do it (get angry, not practice judo on an inanimate objects, I don’t want to be embarrassed when I get my arse kicked by it), but now I just chill. Life is a conundrum, an unexplainable ride of experiences and emotions with no real control over anything with a heartbeat. Surely we all know this, so let’s just make things run smoother, no-one wants another dyslexic kicked down a spiral staircase while they carry books (which they no doubt read perfectly the liars! Kidding)
Summary
I’ve decided the “it’s just one of those days” invigilator is a Tyrannosaurus Rex. With this knowledge, I’ve deduced the proclamation that I shall not move all day, and as we all know, good ol’ Rexxy can only see moving creatures (I got that from Jurassic Park, but the more I think about it the more I start to think that it can’t be true, because that’d be so pointless and they’d be screwed travelling near trees. With that and the tiny arms, I’m starting to think they perhaps were disabled nerds and the Spinosaurus mocked them in the locker room after P.E, while the iguanodon dribbled and gave a constant thumbs up. Bullies I say! Bullies! God, I’ve just realised I just did a few jokes for a crowd that is smaller then a Sex in the City Storyline). I can obviously say I was wrong at the beginning, it wasn’t short at all! And for that I say, deal with it! Don’t like it? Well I’m having one of those days (and the blog becomes full circle).
“Hey Sean, try and sort yourself out quickly so we can leave early” “OK sure”. Two hours later “Sean, you sorted?” “Yes”. Meanwhile in reality, I’ve gone ahead and wasted about 2hours looking at trailers and not done anything else! So, I thought I’d put it to use by putting up my top four Trailers! There are obvious ones I was going to link but have decided not to. Want to know my obvious ones? New Dark Knight Trailer to which I’m really excited about (Bane looks like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat but I’m really not complaining). Others are Fright Night and the new Johnny English filmoreno. Anyway, my top four trailers of this week!
Top Four Trailers of the Week
Four: The Ides of March
I just couldn't not put this in. I happen to not only be a huge fan of Ryan Gosling and George Clooney (slight man crush on him), but Paul Giamatti as well. If you have ever seen him in Shoot'em Up or Sideways, you’d understand my love for him. So with those powerhouses, along with Philip Seymour Hoffmen, it is guaranteed to atleast be a semi adequate film. This slick film is about an idealistic Ryan Gosling learning all about the dos and don’ts in the dirty game of politics. Probably a possible Oscar contender, if not that then an obvious further stepping stone Ryan Gosling is on to solidify him as a well regarded actor.
Three: Archies Final Project
This stylised documentary style movie has won a ludicrous amount of film awards, understandably as well. It’s got a real Super size Me/Zeitgeist sort of feel mixed with shards of A Scanner Darkly with the cartoon style bits. Gabriel Sunday plays Archibold Holden Buster Williams (I’d feel the same way he does if I had that name) who plans to film his own suicide for his film project, this idea brings attention from all those around him, including the nutty Sierra Silver (played by Brooke Nevin). The film looks entertaining, maybe a little heavy at points but there isn’t anything wrong with that. Would definitely fill the independent craving hole (you filthy devil you). Huge props to Gabriel Sunday, the guy wrote, edited and produced this film!
Two: The Last Circus
This looks mental. Absolutely mental! I know people who have problems with foreign films because of there style and because they just can’t be asked to read (if you feel that way then you are missing out on Guillermo Del Toro movies like Pan’s and The Orphanage along with Rec and Javier Bardem’s Biutiful…Microsoft Word is going nuts at that sentence, the racist). This film honestly looks awe-inspiring and creatively driven in so many directions. It really is admirable in this day and age of movies that suffer from originality and sequelitis (you can get cream for that) that they would have the balls to release this.
In 1937, a "Happy" clown is forcibly recruited to serve in the Spanish Civil War, where he massacres an entire platoon with a machete still in costume.
In 1973, near the end of the Franco regime, the clown's son, Javier, follows in his father's footsteps to become a clown, but he is too miserable to be funny and is instead relegated to play the part of the Sad Clown. There he is repeatedly humiliated by the Happy Clown Sergio for the entertainment of others. Javier later falls in love with Sergio's gorgeous acrobat wife, Natalia. A love triangle ensues between the three of them, and the two clowns engage in a horrific battle with one another (this was taken from Wikipedia, I’m running out of time and the scary clown boner I have is starting to hurt).
One: Tucker and Dale vs Evil
I’m really craving this film, like maoam sugarcoated in crack cocaine. It has a sexy Shaun of the Dead feel to it. This spoof movie has such an original idea, showing the story of the hicks who aren’t actually killing them but have become a centre focus of a series of unfortunate accidents and presumptions (presumptions causing problems? Unheard of in life, sour sour flower power….*shrugs*). Not that I’m saying the mutated hicks in The Hills Have Eyes weren’t killing anyone (chainsaw hug anyone?). The hillbillys are played by Tyler Labine (Reapers) and Alan Tudyk (Firefly, Serenity, I Robot, Dodgeball).
Summary
If your goal is to be disturbed by a film then The Hills Have Eyes Two is the film for you! Hell, the first three minutes involving a pregnant lady was disturbing enough, let alone the badger in a gimp mask (not actually in there, a boy can dream though). Anyway, I apologise if you want a further in-depth analysis of these films, I’m not clambering at excuses like a child with a bloody knife and a new furry jacket, but I haven’t watched the movies yet so will probably be able to really go into the Mise-en-scène on a later date. Have a good weekend my beardy weirdies (that’s right, you got a name now, so off you go and frolock!)
I’m writing this blog on a mac, which even though i’ve used macs before and i’ve obviously used a computer before, it still feels as if i know nothing about it. Bit like when a stranger asks you to take a photo of them with their camera, even though you’ve taken plenty of photos before you still look at it like its fire to a caveman. The temptation to then put the camera in my mouth is overwhelming, which is probably why i’m on that register. Which brings me onto a few observations about the world of strangers, god that was smooth like a lubed up bit of smooth peanut butter, yum mothernutty yum.
Oh, Something is on my Finger?
Saw a weird thing today, a lady had some food on her finger so she licked it off (WOAW! Stay away from my children ya freak), which as a 19 year old teenager, I slightly enjoyed but she kept doing it. I, to no surprise, started to get freaked out as minutes went by and she just kept sucking that finger, really strongly as well like her finger has turned into a straw filled with delicious treats. What the hell was on her finger!? Or did she suck on it then have a miraculous discovery that she was a gummy cannibal! It was that sort of thing that made me realize that less was more, if she was trying to woo all the men in the carriage, then she had been successful for the first 10 seconds, then after that it just got a bit creepy and admittedly, a little scary (last time i got scared for my life after witnessing something sucking was when i said Zoey Deschanel wasn’t very good in Tin Man, they went straight for the metaphorical jugular and called me a pretentious ****, even though i loved her in 500 days of summer and Hitch Hikers Guide). She’s probably still on that train covered in dribble and missing a hand. That’d be an awful story at the prosthetics department wouldn’t it? “I lost my arm by distracting a lion from mauling my grandchildren, what about you?” “I just got carried away on a train, doctors said I should start chewing bubble gum before I strike again”.
Dark Temptations
A few months back on the train to victoria (the station), i heard a man say to his girlfriend, “don’t stand in front of me, i might push you onto the tracks” (because thats what love does to you). I can’t replicate the tone he said it in by writing it, but you can understandably guess it was happy in tone but with a slight sinister underlining (a bit like having a nice warm duvet but then recalling you’ve been on holiday for two weeks and there isn’t any way that the duvet could be warm other then ghosts or the more commonly known phenomenon of a 2 second fire duvet tornado). I openly admit I've walked behind someone going down some stairs and thought “i could scissor kick you in the back of the head right now”, but saying it out loud is a little sinister, maybe not as evil as actually doing it but hey, swings and roundabouts.
Prioritising
It’s something we all do, like when I had to either save my grandchildren from a lion or keep playing Call of Duty, there facebooks are a hurtful reminder that I really should have kept playing Call of Duty(I don't actually have grandchildren, I'm 19 and my pet lion needed feeding). I try to be a good guy so when I see someone struggle with carrying things upstairs, i offer my assistance. Strange thing is, I tend to get evil looks then a stern no when I ask if they need there bags carrying up, but when it comes to babies in prams, its an instant yes and do you want to keep it. I’m just waiting for the day when there is a woman with a pram and bags and I ask if she needs any help and she just says “you can’t carry my bags as they are bags for life, this little git is going to piss off when he’s 16, that and I got the bag on purpose...”.
Summary
People are fantastic aren’t they? Minus the violent and evil ones of course, unless you are cheeky and witty with your evilness then you are more then welcome to hang around with me! Just going completely off subject with this, but don’t you hate it on facebook when you see someone liking a like group called “quietly thinking to yourself “Step aside motherf*ckers" when entering a dancefloor” and just knowing they aren’t joining it ironically.
By the looks of things on facebook, it seems as though everyone has got what they wanted from their A level results, whish is good. I enjoy the idea of all my friends abandoning me to go university (priorities that’s all I’m saying). Very happy that pretty much all of you got B and above, never mind if you didn’t. You can do what I’m doing at the moment, waiting hours upon hours for photos to upload only to find about 7 hours it’s only done 100photos out of 250. To be honest, there isn’t much point doing a blog for today because about 95% of my audience are probably out celebrating or they’ve got university acceptance ego (to which resorts in the victim having a feeling of worthiness over anything that requires reading, you swines!). Honestly though, congratulations on your big win and I hope you pick up a few more 3 pointers during the time you are at university (avoid and stds though, they might be slightly distracting during lectures!). Very happy for you all and I hope you get into the universities you wanted to get into!
Big Brother
Big Brother is back, unfortunately. I’ve never really liked it because it’s kind of addictive and just trashy television. The people on it will probably make me angry, I say probably because I don’t actually know who most of them are except the girl who was in scrubs and Kerry Katona (unfortunately again). I’m really sensing I’m going to have to try really hard to avoid it! Although, I say I’m going to get angry, just watching Daniel swear is kind of making me think I might not be as distressed as others (“he just said it’s going to make him rip his cock off” so little worried). I say all this but I probably will end up watching it, with subtitles of course.
Summary
Just got a few texts saying they saw me on the freederm advert during the Big Brother break, yeah cheers for recognising me in that but not in the actual freederm idents for big brother last year! Here, this is what you might of missed out on. It was a lot of fun actually, killed my knee though, ah good times! Again, congratulations to all for today!
UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH UUUUUUUHHHHHHHH. Listen to the podcast and you will get what sound I’m actually making. In this podcast:
Solero referencing
Categories game
Ultimate sweary mary bleepy festy
Loser Raps
I Rap about Cheese
Week in Blog
Ridiculously proud of this podcast, no doubt the funniest one I’ve ever been apart of (don’t know about Daniel, you know what he’s like the podcast prostitute).
Really do watch out for the ultimate swear fest (about 20minutes in) I do and even the rap to which I made the content in 10minutes (its 30minutes into the podcast).
I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!
Oh and I hope people waiting for their a level results get what they want tomorrow, in the results way and whatever rewards they get for doing well.
God damn it, I am so tired! The fact that I have insomnia probably isn’t helping the situation but I mean come on!! My casting today was in Gunnersbury which is near Richmond so it was quite a journey. Also I was being an idiot because I decided to go from Bushey to Harrow and Wealdstone station only to get the same train I could of got from Bushey. If you’ve ever witnessed a man lose an argument to himself, then you really missed out on this opportunity. Telling yourself “I told you so” really isn’t as effective as telling someone else. Anyway, I get to the casting and something happened that I have never been apart of before.
Casting Today
Usually I’m the youngest looking, the youngest in age and the smallest, but not this time. They looked my age or older, there was one girl who looked about 26 except, she was turning 16 in a month? I turn to the other guys I was doing the script with to say how stunned I was, it turned out they were 14 and 16! It was like going to a club with a girl only to find out everyone there were made out of marzipan (or something to that description... Stop looking at me like that! You know what I mean't). To add salt to the sack, I recognised the producer, I had worked with him on a Disney xD show about two years ago, so I say “hello haven’t seen you in ages”, the other two said “oh you guys know each other” to which the casting director says “Sean’s been around for a long time”(possibly a sexual joke to which ironically I was to young to understand, that and probably because I clean my mind at Disney castings from the usual dirty abyss stained carcass my mind seems to live off of). It made me laugh but I kind of felt like the old dude in the situation, like I’m Tim Westwood surrounded by all these aspiring (werthers original) rappers, except this time i was going for the same job as them. It was really surreal, one I didn’t cry over as I took it all in as a new experience. One I think I’m going to have to get used to as I’m not getting any older looking (till that beard fires it self out like a self projected bar of soap from a man with lubed hands)
It’s not the weirdest experience I’ve had at a casting, weirdest was for a Reebok commercial where I had to make out with a girl (which was weird enough because i thought a girl was a certain type of bread…). I was making myself ready for a normal actors make out sesh involving no tongue but it didn’t really work out as I thought it would… She literally ate my face (I had to wipe lipstick off my ears, that’s how wrong it was). You aren’t suppose to feel tongue but it was pretty much inevitable. I felt it on my cheek and she wasn’t aiming to do that, she just had her mouth so wide open that it seemed to jump out at the opportunity to escape the dreaded teeth infested cave. It was honestly like a face hugger scene from Alien.
Literally it pretty much felt like this
Summary
I think I’ve done OK in my career so far, although I really want to do much better and I want to be working more. The wait kills me and my patience fluctuates so drastically that I’ll be ok with waiting for a casting one day and another I’ll be tearing my hair out (which makes it all the more poignant when I turn up to a casting looking like I only get let out once a month). I do seem to get less excited then others when I get things though, it’s probably because I’m very English, Although saying that, I get really excited when other people have good news from the acting (or anything) front, people are awesome, especially my friends and they deserve every little good thing that happens to them, they’ve been super supportive for me and they deserve the same back cause they are lovely lovely ladies and gentlemanz.
